The Recommended Soup
Ingredients:
One Fish
1, 2, 3, even 4 Onions (How many it takes)
1,2,3, even 4 Carrots (How many it takes)
1,2,3, even 4 Potatoes (How many it takes)
1,2,3, even 4 Cheese Bricks (How many it takes)
Directions:
The judges have confirmed that any large common fish will do. Should weigh enough to feed every participant in the kitchen.
It is in the fields of produce where the perfection is found …
Plant, water, CULTivate the exact, perfect, size and shape of each item. The more people you can recruit to help you, maintain your fields the more enriched the flavour of your soup will be. Make sure they understand your plan. Make sure they understand that your plan is perfect. Discard any other type of diverse input. This is the strict recommended plan that has been chosen from others who have incorporated these exact ingredients with only the perfect of outcomes. Anything other than the ingredients in this plan would be flawed, and therefore toxic.
One large iron fry pan, add enough oil to fry fish. Add two pinches of pink salt.
One large stainless steel pot. One with black handles. No other colours work. It is to be cooked on an open flame burner.
Peel, and peel, onions with each layer congratulate yourself for doing a great job. Tell your team. Write it down. As you are in charge the peeling, know that it is not your responsibility to clean up the mess of the exposed layers. The terms, conditions, policies and procedures of the “Recommended Soup” tend only to these conditions. Gloves, and a mask should be worn for your own protection, to ensure the quality of your work is not tainted.
Peel and peel the carrots. Notice the brightness of the orange colour as the thin slices of skin are removed. Hold up a bunch of carrots for others to admire. Remind them that the constant and consistent reward for the brightest of the orange colour comes only to those who are perfect themselves in every way. It is highly recommended to only associate with team members that can clearly see how beautiful your carrots are. They will be sure to do exactly the same, as they too will want the excitement of the same reward! Carrots that do not meet the criteria, are to be quickly shredded and disposed of.
Peel and dice potatoes. Be sure to look at the tiny details in and around the details of each curve. Slice off any blemish or deformity. Like a broken record, incorporate this into your routine, soon each and every potato will conform to be the exact specimen of your desired work. Others will congratulate you for following the directions of the recipe so persistently.
Add the bricks of cheese. The greatest secret of the recipe. Have lots of various types of bricks available. Taste and test each one. Take from them their flavour, use each sample to build upon your own exquisite taste. Use only the best. The unused portions should immediately be thrown away, after all, leftovers will always rate as second best. Even the oldest bricks of cheese are to be fresh and untouched by any other.
While the soup is boiling, ensure the flame at a constant high temperature. It will burn away any impurities and maintain quality control.
Can be presented in cup or bowl, as long as it is served hot.
Warm, freshly baked buns or bagels are suggested to accompany this perfect meal.
Heather Ann Jarman 2017
Stop being so agreeable .. 
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