The Ongoing Dance Steps of Forgiving Others For Their Deficiencies

There is a natural gift of grace that is given to individuals with any kind of disability. I have been both a participant and a contributor to the this field for many years. In each and every joint participation with another person, there is a wish for there to be a respectful response to ‘who’ you are as human being.

There are some who initially seem to extend an unconditional handshake, however as time and experiences are exchanged, the ‘tone’ and level of ‘care’ about ‘who’ you are depends on their own position of what the interaction is based on.

Recently, I was speaking with a young man in his 30’s who is living a full life with three artificial limbs. He was in the process of adjusting to his two new titanium legs, and I asked him what the hardest part of adjusting to them was. His response was not surprising as he shared that in summary of his experience, the biggest ‘adjustment’ that he had to endure was the ‘tone’ of the ‘professional’ people involved in the ‘process’ of the installation, and how the ‘dance’ of automatic forgiveness for the interaction of ‘pity’ that was obviously being displayed by the technicians involved.

This insensitive experience is just one of many he has endured throughout his life. His physical circumstances have never been a problem.  We talked about the invisible emotional courtesies that are given to others, even when it is not extended to us.  It is a dance of keeping integrity while allowing a biased common standard of others to exist. Much of the time, it is only within the understanding of those who have actually learned this ‘dance’ themselves, can the honour and beauty be heard in the exercise of ALL human interaction.  The extended gift of grace is indeed, the unconditional ‘tone’ of forgiveness.

 

Heather Ann Jarman 2017